tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48026194781336847042024-03-11T21:51:37.751-07:00Megan Wong's BlogMeganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.comBlogger161125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-60576389788085897072023-06-16T14:08:00.000-07:002023-06-16T14:08:59.996-07:00Blowing Up and Breaking Down<h2 style="text-align: left;"> Emotional Reactivity: feeling out of control and sensitive to stimuli.</h2><p>We all have times where we're not feeling great and maybe the world feels like too much. At this point, we might "blow up" or breakdown over the little things. Something that felt fine or only slightly bothered us on a good day can become the trigger for feeling as if our lives are coming apart. It's not difficult to see why we might explode with anger or dissolve into sadness.</p><p>Life is full of stress and we can't always push through it. However, addressing this can be difficult with the feelings of shame or vulnerability plaguing our thoughts. </p><p>It's sometimes easier to view this in literature than to observe it in our own lives, and it can also feel very relatable and safe to read about someone going through an emotional period than to experience it ourselves. </p><p>I'm going to pull from a few of my favorite books to illustrate the process of blowing up and breaking down. Comment below with your own experiences or books that you've read demonstrating this.</p><p><br /></p><h3 style="text-align: left;">Henry H. Neff's <u>The Hound of Rowan</u> - Max yelling at his father after being forced to stay over the winter holiday.</h3><div>Excerpt: "Dad, I'm not coming home!" snapped Max, his frustration and guilt boiling over."</div><div><br /></div><div>"She's dead, Dad!" Max screamed. "Stop putting up her stocking! Stop putting lipsticks and chocolates and jewelry in that stupid stocking! Mom is DEAD!"</div><div><br /></div><div>Max is dealing with stress from being homesick. He has also endured years of grief with his father, but while his father has hope for his mother to return, Max has confronted a different reality where she is gone for good. In the past, these different viewpoints probably didn't clash. While Max may have had thoughts about his father acting as if his mother will return, it seems clear that he hadn't addressed his frustration until this point. His stress has made this small act of hope into something he can wield against his father in this emotional blowing up moment.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now we all say things we don't mean and likely regret afterward. Part of emotional reactivity is reaching the point where the usual checks: empathy and consideration for others, has lost its value. Max is feeling a storm of hurt and frustration which he tries to manage until this part of the dialogue where he can't keep it in. He doesn't want to stay away from his father, but the school has decided for his safety that he must. His father presses against this, unwilling to accept that his son may have a good reason, and adds to the stress Max is feeling. Others can unintentionally make our reactivity worse. Instead of being a comfort, they add pressure to the situation and if we aren't able to communicate what we need or get some space from them - relationships can be damaged.</div><div><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Naomi Novik's <u>A Deadly Education</u> - El when she thinks everyone has deserted her in the cafeteria.</h3><div>Excerpt: "...and people don't like me enough to help me even if I scream. So I don't bother to scream, but right then in the lunchroom I wanted to stand up on the table and scream at all of them the way I screamed at those bastards in the commune; I wanted to tell all of them I hated them and I'd set them all on fire gladly for five minutes of peace, and why shouldn't I, since they'd all stand by and watch me burn instead."</div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes our thoughts get ahead of what's happening. If we've had multiple bad experiences where people have broken our trust, (see all of El's backstory: her father's family, those in the commune, the other students), then we're not going to feel charitable toward others and we can end up with a mindset where it's us vs the world.</div><div><br /></div><div>However, this is often a cognitive distortion (irrational thoughts which can perpetuate anxiety or depression) and can harm us more because we don't see any other paths in our story. For El, she's dealing with mind reading which is when we start interpreting others thoughts and behaviors without evidence. She sits down and everyone else is sitting at other tables or not looking her way. She's actually used to this, so it's not completely irrational for her to make the conclusion that some of the people who sat at the table during previous meals were doing so to get something from her. However, El overgeneralizes and thinks that every single person must think this way.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is a silent blowing up/breakdown, but just as important to recognize. When we start to spiral into our thoughts, we increase our likelihood to feel worse and completely hopeless. Then we might disqualify the positives (another cognitive distortion) which means what you think: we don't accept the good things happening and only focus on the hurtful ones. Not great at all.</div><div><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Sarah J. Maas's <u>A Court of Mist and Fury</u> - Feyre breaking down after Tamlin locked her in the house.</h3><div style="text-align: left;">Excerpts: "I barely heard him over the roar in my ears."</div><p>"I stopped seeing the marble floor, or the paintings on the walls, or the sweeping staircase looming behind me. I stopped hearing the chirping of the spring birds, or the sighing of the breeze through the curtains. And then crushing black pounded down and rose up from beneath, devouring and roaring and shredding. It was all I could do to keep from screaming, to keep from shattering into ten thousand pieces as I sank onto the marble floor...”</p><p>At this point, Feyre experiences disassociation (disconnection from yourself and the world around you) and we'd classify this as a breakdown. She's lost hope and doesn't feel heard, so she retreats into herself. If you know the story, then Feyre has experienced multiple traumas and now struggles with the pressure of who everyone wants her to be. Her stressors have only multiplied from the first book and I find that the depth to Maas's storytelling is in the emotional realities of the characters. These aren't easy things to deal with and a victory isn't always what we think it is.</p><p>Feyre has come close to break several times in the beginning of ACOMAF and just manages to stifle her feelings. She denies her inner experience and this leads to the accumulating stress. Anytime we deny our emotions or someone else does, we create a division within ourselves and a breakdown of our self-worth. We're basically telling ourselves that what we feel isn't important and so we're not important.</p><p>Feyre's emotional reactivity keeps increasing - if she was at a 4 on a scale of (1-10, 1 = non-reactive and 10 = highly reactive), then by the time we get to this point, she's probably around an 8 or 9. The addition of stressors with no relief allows for this to continue to the point where she dissociates and her power manifests as the swirling darkness.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;">Patrick Rothfuss's <u>The Name of the Wind</u> - When Kvothe's instrument is broken and he calls the wind only to be left hollow.</h3><div>Excerpt: "I opened my mouth to howl, to cry, to curse him. But something other tore from my throat, a word I did not know and could not remember."</div><div><br /></div><div>"My mind was a whirl of confusion and half-formed questions...All around me there was a great numbness, as if I were sealed in wax ten inches thick. There was no Kvothe, only the confusion, the anger, and the numbness wrapping them."</div><div><br /></div><div>First, Kvothe experiences an emotional blow-up which takes the form of the wind. He has reached a point of detachment from self and similar to Feyre, he reaches dissociation. We can probably assume that it becomes a combination of depersonalization and derealization. First, he dissociates from who he is as a person and loses his sense of self. Second, he is aware of his surroundings but feels separate from them. The numbness and comparison of wax around him really illustrates how far removed he is and how difficult it is for him to interact with others. He is literally in a different state of mental being and can't connect. </div><div><br /></div><div>This separation again comes from the amount of stress and in this case, grief. </div><div><br /></div><div>Grief is normal and a valuable process for our minds to experience. We can't rush it, so Kvothe's grief itself isn't the problem, but how it takes him away from his self and from others is. When we get to a state where we can't be reached, then we're unable to cope or care for ourselves. We've lost our independence of functioning and that's usually when we strongly need support. Family, friends or mental health services become vital to keep us from going it alone. We're always stronger together.</div><div style="text-align: center;">#</div><div><br /></div><div>What did you think of these characters and their emotional reactivity? Have you had similar experiences? Comment below with your thoughts!</div><div><br /></div><div>As a final note, none of these are "bad" or "negative", they're natural. But a blow up or breakdown is a signal to ourselves that something isn't working, so we need to respond in appropriate ways to manage. We can even learn to reduce stressors and lower our emotional reactivity if it's not serving us. Show compassion to yourself by seeking help when you need it and stepping away from unhealthy things.</div><div><br /></div><div>Next time, I plan to explore the aftermath of these experiences and explore how we can support ourselves and others as we go through tough emotions. See you then!</div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-54712040638535689862023-06-09T11:00:00.000-07:002023-06-09T11:00:00.726-07:00Life Update!<p> Wow, it feels like forever since I've done one of these (if at all) and it's really making me reflect on where I've been these last 3 years. Because 2020 was something - I think most can agree that any established plans were knocked aside and unpredictableness was a hallmark of the times.</p><p>I still remember the early musings and confusion. We kept wondering, "Is it serious?" "What do I need to do?" "What does this mean?" "They can't really shut everything down?" </p><p>And then, well... a lot happened. Turned out the world could shut down and most of our lives along with it. It felt surreal to be at home, look outside and see nature looking fine but hearing all the news and feeling terrible. </p><p>I was still in school and ended up finishing my education online. And while I was in school, I was working - in a bookstore to be exact - and for a while we continued and then I was furloughed (It was an interesting experience and my first time hearing the word). </p><p>But let's fast forward, that was 2020 and here we are in 2023.</p><p>I graduated as previously mentioned and started working full time in mental health. A field greatly needed during and after the pandemic, so to say we've been busy is an understatement. The interesting thing about mental health is how much we think we know, how much we are currently learning, and how much stigma still remains.</p><p>One of my goals is to keep learning, and if you wish to join me, check back in for posts exploring mental health examples in literature. If you have some of your own stories, feel free to comment and share. Each of us has our own experiences, but that doesn't mean we can't learn from each other to find what works for us. </p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-45246394688817572122023-05-27T20:48:00.000-07:002023-05-27T20:48:28.054-07:00The "Saved" Quotes<p> You know those sentences in the book that people repeat to each other? The ones that resonate so much with wisdom and empathy that the books become known for those phrases and we put them on t-shirts, mugs, and even our bodies? </p><p>I used to try writing those specifically. They were out of context and pretty in-your-face, but it was fun to imagine these words as ones that people would tell their friends and treasure in their hearts.</p><p>None of these made it into actual stories - those quotes just come in the process of writing them - but these were my favorites from the list. Maybe you'll be inspired and find use for something similar:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I’m living my days even if I’m mourning my nights.</li><li>You could not live off of anger, just get high off its fumes.</li><li>She may not find it in herself to be kind, but for every tip of the scale, she’d find a way to make it balanced.</li><li>If the cold ever bothered her, she never let it show. If she had told him she was carved from ice, he would not have disagreed.</li><li>Impatience was the dog pawing at her heels, patience was the cat that never wanted to be stroked.</li><li>Death could not be sweeter if it knocked on the door and asked to dine. </li><li>Castles are always crawling with spies and anyone that thinks otherwise is an idiot.</li><li>I wield my silence like you wield your words, both are weapons, but which do you think speaks louder?</li></ul><div><br /></div><div>And my favorite...</div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>My darling, I know flattery well. I worship her on bended knee.</li></ul></div><p></p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-33606164706240593002023-05-18T18:00:00.000-07:002023-05-18T18:00:49.462-07:00Tough Love Email<h4 style="text-align: left;">The text below is all an email I sent back in 2019 to a friend who felt hopelessness and who I admired greatly. I hoped this would spur them to do more. (Names have been changed).</h4><p><br /></p><p>Hmm. What to say. I read your chapter, not just skimmed, actually read it and I loved it.</p><p>I don't say this lightly. I really did enjoy it. You included the elements of the world into the story so effortlessly that it didn't feel forced.</p><p>You wrote Henderson just like the jerk he is, but subtle so that it was a conclusion that a reader could grasp on her own. </p><p>You also made him sympathetic and let me tell you - he was not sympathetic before, but you introduced him so well that even I wanted Fiero to cut him some slack. </p><p><br /></p><p>You say that you've lost enthusiasm, well it happens to all of us. It happens to every writer out there.</p><p>What would you like me to say? I won't say that magically everything will fall into place that you will come over your anxiety and write as if some idea is burning inside you. I won't say that you should go off on another project and just write what is inspiring you in the moment.</p><p><br /></p><p>Geez. If we all wrote when we felt productive, there would be no finished books in the world. </p><p><br /></p><p>I could see how excited you were when you talked about it, but that doesn't mean that you can't have days where the work feels dull. Days when you just have no interest in what you've written and it all feels pointless. You have to remember that you had those days of lovely inspiration and write anyway. You are a writer, Conn, and perhaps you need that as your mantra. Chant it in your sleep if you have to. But, never forget it.</p><p><br /></p><p>You think you lost interest because when you write it doesn't feel right. Perhaps it just shows that you have grown in a way and what you wrote before doesn't feel the same because you have matured. Island Whispers felt that way for me. We look back on ourselves and see the parts that weren't strong. So make a choice. </p><p><br /></p><p>You say that you're worried that this will become a pattern that you will lose interest in all of your projects before you finish them.</p><p>Then commit to this. Show yourself that you can finish something. It's not going to happen overnight and certainly it is not going to appear out of thin air. So even when it feels wrong and when it feels like a struggle, commit yourself to one thing. Write this story.</p><p><br /></p><p>Stop thinking about what your story could be or all the ways that you could do this or that. Just stop. </p><p>It's not easy to let go of those thoughts, but you need to push past those worries.</p><p>Stop setting expectations because you are your own worst critic and you will tear yourself down before you begin.</p><p>Set goals. Set milestones. Believe in yourself and know that even if you can't do that, there are others that believe in you.</p><p><br /></p><p>I'm definitely one of them. If you want to take anything from this semi-rant response email to yours, then know that I do not choose my friends lightly. I do not share my work with just anyone and I do not just give my time for everyone to use. It might seem strange considering I'm an RA, but I am talking about my time not on the job. </p><p><br /></p><p>So get a hold of yourself, Waterson. If you wait until the stars align, you'll be staring at the sky forever. </p><div><br /></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-73989473844557436992023-05-05T19:51:00.000-07:002023-05-05T19:51:25.078-07:00What It Means To Be A Writer<h4 style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;">This is what it means to be a writer:</span></h4><p class="p2" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Are you trying to be a hero?” he asked.</span></p><p class="p3" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I am trying,” I said, spitting the words with my tongue, “to be someone who <i>cares</i>.”</span></p><p class="p3" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The words spat from my tongue in response. “I am trying to be someone who <i>cares</i>.”</span></p><p class="p3" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My tongue spat my response upon him in a bitter rain. “I am <i>trying</i> to be someone who cares.”</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span> </span><span> "I am trying," I said, "to be someone who cares."</span><br /></span></p><p class="p3" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p3" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p3" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">It means to try a thousand words to get the right sound, the right emotion and then to try it all again from the beginning. It means to be a researcher of knowledge beyond us and the bridge between ideas. It is asking a question and trying to find its answer.</span></p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-84577043537537273822023-04-27T20:31:00.003-07:002023-04-27T20:31:18.369-07:00"I just need some time to think" and The Body Problem<p> How many times have we <i>heard</i> those words? How many times have we <i>said</i> those words?</p><p>It's a well known, not often discussed, truth that we are thinking beings and we need time to process. Our brains can only do so much at once and if we're overwhelmed, less so. If someone has ever told you to "sleep on it," they're not wrong. Many studies and scientific minds have proposed that sleep is a huge factor in our ability to process and a necessary component of our lives. However, many of us face a lack of sleep or inability to sleep due to stress from work, school, social obligations or society as a whole. </p><p>What else can we do then?</p><p>I am a firm believer in movement and there is some evidence for physical exercise benefitting our brain. The flow of oxygen and the stimulation provide nutrition to our brain and aide our day-to-day. Walking is definitely a good way to do this, but when I can, I run.</p><p>Some people view running like a religion. Some make it their goal with marathons and other races. I honestly see it as a necessary discomfort. Running is rarely easy for me. My consistency is shoddy so my conditioning is poor. My form isn't terrible due to 2 years of high school track, but I'm always finding reasons not to do it.</p><p>Yet, it's the one exercise I return to because I feel the most productive afterward. My brain benefits enormously from running. My thoughts seem to accelerate and solve puzzles with every step and by the end I'm brimming with ideas. It's probably one of my best tools for writer's block.</p><p>I know the research behind why this is true, but it still amazes me when I hit the trails.</p><p>I just wish the self-doubt and criticism didn't catch up to me. While my brain does benefit, my self-esteem suffers. "Look how slow you are!" "See how out of breath you are." "No wonder the doctor says your BMI is overweight." Almost all of these comments are aimed at my physical body. There are some aimed at my motivation and mind, but I'm the best at tearing down my physical nature.</p><p>It's a sucker punch and a hand-up all at once which makes me conflicted. Do I keep at it or do I devote myself to something else? </p><p><Brief Intermission while I take a mouse to the woods. Not that you would know that, but it happened.></p><p>I guess I don't really have an answer for myself, but have you ever had something that helped and hurt you? What would you do? I don't really have any answers today - just thoughts and questions.</p><p><br /></p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-58141572564265638642022-02-12T16:19:00.001-08:002022-02-12T16:19:24.636-08:00Middles Are Not Middling. They Are Metamorphosis.<p> Do you know the halfway point of a story? Can you feel it?</p><p>I think we're innately wired for story, not just from the research I've read by Brene Brown or Joseph Campbell's books and essays. There's an intrinsic level of our mind which reads something and forms stories, or describes an event and puts it in a story. We are able to break it down if asked and if we give ourselves time to think about the parts, such as beginning, middle and end.</p><p>So, can you say you are able to identify that midway point? I think the answer should be yes and often times we are able to feel it. There's a sense of something turning because that middle place is where change happens, where the shift begins. Sometimes it's obvious, it's where a big event which changes the state of the characters or the course of our lives, and sometimes it's the curtain closing before heralding us to the next act.</p><p>At this time, I'm in a few middle points in life and in writing. The change has begun to take hold and I can feel myself swept up in that feeling of something coming. It's both scary and thrilling. I think we often find ourselves in quandaries of emotions when we're vacillating between staying and going, ending and beginning. There's uncertainty and I think that's why we know it's a midpoint too. There are still questions to be answered things are changing for us to find the answers, but we are not there yet.</p><p>In writing, it feels like an, "Ah, so now it starts." Not only is the midpoint of my story the pause before the change where it is a turning point in the story - it's a turning point in the narrative as a whole. It's that moment in a hero's arc where they realize there's no going back. If they keep going forward, then the tangled web of their lives will continue reaching outward and become even messier. </p><p>Scary and thrilling.</p><p>It can feel intimidating and as many of us can probably attest, we can be the obstacle to our own moving forward. Fear worms a hole into the dreams and the more we think of what could be - we think of where it could all go wrong. This is where comfort gets us and the point about a middle is the moving past comfort. Comfort is where we began and now it is time to shift, to move ourselves forward and know that it will change us.</p><p>I drag my heels. Sometimes I firmly plant them and refuse to continue onward. That is when I really need to take a hard look at what I want, why I'm doing this and what I'm so afraid of.</p><p>I'm a sprinter when it comes to change, but only when I am certain in what I'm running toward. If I can't overcome the doubt then I won't even toe the line, but if for one moment I'm able to muster courage then I will start to run - and I won't stop for anything. There is a problem with barreling into a change, but I won't get to that in this post. </p><p>Instead, let's focus on that moment of indecision and when you start to run. There's the middle again. We've had it with our doubts and made-up our mind. Commence the sequence of changes. In life this could be a change in job, a change in relationships, a change in place, a change in mindset or so much more. We've reached our turning point and I suppose now we can answer ourselves the question of who rings the changes: we do. Every moment of our lives there is movement going on in the world and we are ringing the changes.</p><p>We can feel the shift as it happens. We know when something clicks. It's not a knowing of good or bad just a knowing of what is and could be. So the midpoint of a story is an important thing. Pay attention. It's where it all begins.</p>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-19842261069514466972021-09-22T20:51:00.000-07:002021-09-22T20:51:41.145-07:00Something Creepy<p> Sometimes I forget the things I write and when I go back through the documents I'm surprised by what I find. Here is something creepy and I can't remember why I wrote it. There might have been a prompt. There might have been some real reason but all I can say is this chills me to the bone.</p><p><br /></p><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">Word Count: 768</div><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Perfection</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">By</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Megan Wong</div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />A gum wrapper for Trident mint flavored gum.<br /><br />A nail file with pink plastic on the end.<br /><br />A Ticonderoga #2 Pencil still sharp.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">#</div><br />His smile makes her feel beautiful. It is the kind of smile that is wide enough to show two rows of white teeth, along with a lift in his cheeks and a sparkle in his eyes. It makes her feel good, so she smiles back. He is a stranger. Some random person also waiting for the bus, but she smiles and notices that he has absentmindedly left a pencil behind one ear, like a contractor. <br /><br /> It reminds her that she lost one of her pencils. A touch of her own absentmindedness, when she usually has five pencils on her desk at all times. Five sharpened pencils that she keeps in a line on her desk. She is not usually lackadaisical about her work, but she has been distracted lately. <br /><br />She lives on her own in a one bedroom apartment with a view of the dumpsters in the alley. She would love to live in one of those apartments by the river, even if it does flood when it rains. She would love to lead the life in romance novels with something exciting happening every moment. She would love these things, but she knows that life does not work that way. <br /><br />Not for her.<br /><br /> The bus arrives and she gets on, choosing the first seat that is open. The man who smiled sits a few rows behind her. She still feels happy that he smiled at her. Something nice and random, something sweet to think about for the rest of her ride. <br /><br /> It is nice to think of strange men and convince herself that they think she is beautiful. It is nice to be beautiful in someone else’s eyes because, in her own, she is plain. She is a middle aged woman, unmarried, working at an accounting firm, with mousy hair and a jutting chin. She is no one to anybody and invisible among the many faces on the street.<br /><br /> These thoughts lower her spirits, but she reminds herself that the man smiled at her. The man who is still a few rows away and, if she is feeling bold, she might go and speak to him. Such a silly thought to alter her routine and bold behavior is for heroes in stories. So she sits and waits until it is her turn to get off.<br /><br /> The door to her apartment looks gloomy. The paint is chipped and the door knob rattles as she inserts the key. She begins to open the door when she feels a hand on her neck. It is gentle, a caress of soft skin and she turns to see the man. The man on the bus. The man who smiled. He is smiling now as he presses a mask to her face.<br /><br /> She stumbles, but he eases her down as she starts to succumb to whatever she is inhaling. Everything becomes dreamy like that moment before a surgery and she blinks stupidly at that wide smile, now wondering what it really means.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">#</div><br />She is cold. So cold. Her eyes feel frozen shut and she is losing consciousness again. She struggles to open them, to remember. She should have turned down her air conditioning. She should have grabbed a blanket before she went to sleep. She should have…<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">#</div><br />He smiles. She is saved now. She is saved.<br /><br />Such a beautiful representation of humanity. <br /><br />He places her things: the gum wrapper, the nail file and the pencil in a drawer. Mementos of her and her life, her existence before she succumbed to mortality. But, he has saved her beauty. He has saved her from age and a slow death at the hands of the societal wheels. She is a moment in time. A frozen image of beauty.<br /><br />This is his studio. He brings them all here. All of his masterpieces.<br /><br />The room itself is freezing. It has to be kept that way. The different coffins of glass and technology need to be protected. Others would not understand. They would be frightened by the frozen people beneath the glass. She is the fifth of his works and he takes time to smile at each body in turn. <br /><br />He is so happy that he has added this woman to his collection. Humanity through time, he would call it, if he cared to share it with others. <br /><br />Perhaps one day. For now, he sits in a chair, steepling his fingers together as he watches the breath slowly stop clouding the glass. <br /><br />She is, in a word, perfect.<br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">###</div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-72819314954935785792020-05-24T13:40:00.001-07:002020-05-24T13:40:36.656-07:00My Literary GuardianSo this is a bit of old news from December 17th 2019, but it reads well so I've decided to share.<div><br /></div><div>I keep a journal. I don't consistently write in it, but when I feel like it or when I'm bored I'll write something. This particular journal lasted exactly a year. From May of 2019 to May 2020, and boy do things changes in just a short amount of time.</div><div><br /></div><div>So here is that entry with a few edits:</div><div><br /></div><div>"Earlier today I felt a surge of anger and hopelessness. I'd just come back from meeting with my advisor about practicum and I felt ill-prepared, unworthy, useless -- take your pick, but I wasn't feeling good and there I was sliding in mud trying to get home.</div><div><br /></div><div>I had decided to walk to campus and since it had been a wet few days, every trail had a mud pit that could send the unwary into the earth. It's fun at first, but then it's annoying. Your feet go all over. The mud is just waiting to cover you and well, it's just another hassle.</div><div><br /></div><div>My mood went from a dull evening to a stormy night.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then I thought of Ruana.</div><div><br /></div><div>My thoughts had turned to hopelessness so I called on my strong character to save me from myself. Ruana has horrible self-esteem but she does believe that her life is worth something. She would say, "Well, maybe, I didn't make a difference in someone else's life. Maybe, I didn't have some greater purpose. But even if Cossu (the god of the dead) himself came to claim me for the dead. I would not go until I chose to."</div><div><br /></div><div>Her free will and desire to live is strong. She will not be imposed upon. She will be the guardian of her own fate and those that cross her must beware her wrath. (Very dramatic stuff here).</div><div><br /></div><div>Ruana doesn't fool herself into thinking she is a kind or even good person. She's hostile and slow to trust, but she is steadfast and unwavering to those she cares about. I think her conviction grounds me. She has little self-pity. The facts of her life stand as they are and she will come out on top.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a world where everyone is fighting to survive and cruel people seek to conquer, she is forged in shifting sands -- adaptable, relentless and never what she's not.</div><div><br /></div><div>The desert does not pretend to be a safe place or try to pacify those who enter it. It is a strict force of nature that states, "I am wild abandon. Live or die. I do not care. You are but another speck of dust. I will show you no mercy, no reprieve. I do not regret what I am or wish to change myself. Enter with courage or not at all. Your fate is your own to master."</div><div><br /></div><div>Which seems eloquent for a geographical biome with varying characteristics across continents. Still it rings true. The desert will suffer no weakling, will spare no one who does not fight to live.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ruana knows this. She lives by it, and she reminds herself that she is a desert girl and tougher than she looks.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't think I could have asked for a better protagonist. She is not perfect, but I don't want her to be. I love her, imperfections and all, she is an inner strength I can rely on.</div><div><br /></div><div>"One foot in front of the other," she would grumble as I did walking on those slippery trails. "Eventually you'll end up somewhere."</div><div><br /></div><div>And I did."</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFcc0HoxmjNaNGzgA40C4WkSDy_sLQD-4Ktpffwux3vlf9IYnhGOkRHFogcwoYn7XNVUnKvcbJIrx04_O1yjFHEaY-DxlS_B53wCb0K_MAprd9RLDh2A8jcyxyYBTgJAL0Y_j_SjIrb-4/"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFcc0HoxmjNaNGzgA40C4WkSDy_sLQD-4Ktpffwux3vlf9IYnhGOkRHFogcwoYn7XNVUnKvcbJIrx04_O1yjFHEaY-DxlS_B53wCb0K_MAprd9RLDh2A8jcyxyYBTgJAL0Y_j_SjIrb-4/s320/IMG_2893.jpeg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>Ruana is the MC (main character) from my current work-in-progress. I think I've mentioned her before but just in case you read this and then wonder if you're missing something - you are and I just haven't gotten around to sharing much about it yet. My apologies. If things go as planned, Ruana will make her debut into the world soon.</div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-64050647980665456152020-05-07T15:52:00.000-07:002020-05-07T15:52:37.106-07:00Something FunLife itself has been stressful lately so I thought I would post something fun and something from my past.<div><br /></div><div>All great writers start as children! The things they play with, the stories they make-up are all building blocks for later.</div><div>A child's inquisitiveness and imagination is one of the most wonderful things out there. It can save nations.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I was a child, I loved dogs. I wanted a dog too. Things didn't work out for my household to actually own a dog, but I had plenty of dogs that I adopted for a time. Our next door neighbor had a golden retriever mix and she was ours in a sense. She knew when we got home from school and she would follow us around and listen to us. She also had the softest fur and the wettest kisses. She was perfect.</div><div><br /></div><div>At home, I had my own collection of stuffed animal dogs, but none were as portable and as beloved as this one.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3eyH05oJF53ZcdfsLaanHUZih0CApcC647hOaqEoE3TGcD21jbsJJlGq7TWUHbyrpYuobZShSRazyBavNccRow66svw7oYlDOR7Jp2Js5FufSApq4F1Srf79lGDJ0-usywxRnmH55bi0/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3eyH05oJF53ZcdfsLaanHUZih0CApcC647hOaqEoE3TGcD21jbsJJlGq7TWUHbyrpYuobZShSRazyBavNccRow66svw7oYlDOR7Jp2Js5FufSApq4F1Srf79lGDJ0-usywxRnmH55bi0/w240-h320/IMG_3313.jpeg" title="Snuffles" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh38YZeJa87tE7k11hIlk1bW_69upsmPxeI-5LAwNR586SniR6Fv4NLcsxviGT15ROPgvcZXqyxbSA6ESEVs7i7zNGDsNBHziBIXNb8kAJAfWDDCl67A_8ovQfor2XQXqOGSqLPYdBqn-E/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh38YZeJa87tE7k11hIlk1bW_69upsmPxeI-5LAwNR586SniR6Fv4NLcsxviGT15ROPgvcZXqyxbSA6ESEVs7i7zNGDsNBHziBIXNb8kAJAfWDDCl67A_8ovQfor2XQXqOGSqLPYdBqn-E/w240-h320/IMG_3315.jpeg" title="Charles Dickens" width="240" /></a></div></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is Snuffles also known as Charles Dickens. Yes, he had a secret identity. He was a daring detective with the perfect nose to sniff out crime and solve cases. Note the hat which represents him adopting his detective persona. The detective persona was Charles Dickens, obviously. A name like Dickens combined with Charles...it practically screams stakeouts and revealing critical information in a timely manner. Snuffles could easily fit in my hand and so he was perfect for going places. He fit inside purses, found that cup holders made great seats and was just a lovable companion.</div></div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>This dog went on many missions before he retired and he is still as soft as ever. What kind of toys did you play with as a child? Were any of them part of a larger story?</div><div><br /></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-69452857496061922572020-04-22T21:23:00.000-07:002020-04-22T21:23:15.685-07:00The Thing About ExperiencesI have this document full of experiences: wasp stings, my first kiss, illnesses and injuries in equal measure, electric shocks, drowning, and hysterical laughter. They're all the times that I felt something and was conscious enough to then write about it. It's my "reference document" so that when I need to pull in the realness of a situation, I can.<br />
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Sometimes I forget. But this is also my way to compartmentalize and think through the things that hurt, so it's a useful tool. Each experience has its label and then there are moment by moment descriptions. I'm not trying for elegance. I'm just trying to capture what it's like for real. Of course, these are just my own subjective experiences. Everyone experiences things differently, but this just reminds me that I'm human.<br />
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This is just a small segment of my list. If you're wondering why most of them are painful experiences, it's just because I'm less attentive to the happy ones. For the most part, the experiences are in chronological order of when they happened. I've got no clue as to the exact dates, but I just let the list grow. Every new entry is added to the bottom.<br />
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Have you experienced any of these things? Did they feel different to you or do these descriptions remind you of your own experience?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNDEB2BROgiXDZZk9L6YUNES485TDHGnrhBWz6_T7quB2wMyj65GmTCaiRoEm56NG4Pym9hGi9lD5LUqHG6LiUV4inUUCOqMBSQ-8oJgpae8jfr1TfFwfVULlfWlJuYxxnfyoDWOtcISI/s1600/Screen+Shot+2020-04-22+at+9.09.43+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="660" data-original-width="590" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNDEB2BROgiXDZZk9L6YUNES485TDHGnrhBWz6_T7quB2wMyj65GmTCaiRoEm56NG4Pym9hGi9lD5LUqHG6LiUV4inUUCOqMBSQ-8oJgpae8jfr1TfFwfVULlfWlJuYxxnfyoDWOtcISI/s640/Screen+Shot+2020-04-22+at+9.09.43+PM.png" width="571" /></a></div>
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Also, just as a little ending note, I am not accident prone, nor do I get injured a lot. These happened over the course of several years. I just tend to keep track of all my negatives.</div>
<br />Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-52867483162946796692020-03-28T18:16:00.002-07:002020-03-28T18:16:29.786-07:00The Missing Piece (That Does or Does Not Belong)One of the wonderful (and trying) things about being a writer is that a story is wholly yours. From the moment you put words on a page to the imaginings of your brain and the typing of that very last word, you've created something and it's yours to do what you will. Every detail and sentence is crafted by you and yours is the imagination running the show.<br />
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Then you edit and those details are tightened up; things are smoothed out, linked together and hopefully coherent. Then you edit again and everything is made more pristine and closer to your vision. Perhaps you've told people about your story, run the idea past them, or even shared a sample. Maybe you've shared the whole thing. Either way, something happens that changes your perspective. The scenes and dialogue that lined up before are now incongruous. Some of it's irrelevant and you come to the realization that your perfect piece has flaws.<br />
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At this point you might feel less motivated and dejected that something so sparkling could become so dull. It's a rude awakening, like a siren that cuts through the early morning quiet at 3AM. So you wake up. What do you do?<br />
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You reimagine. You rework. You create something new again, but not completely. It's a snip there, patch it up. A snip over there and patch it up. The story becomes tailored again to fit snugly around its skeleton and maybe you're feeling a little proud (and exhausted) as things come together.<br />
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Then you come to another part and you've thought that all major changes have been made, but this isn't fitting right. So you imagine, come up with something else, you go to patch it in and realize, well...it doesn't fit. Shoot. You read over it and read it again. You think if I just change that sentence, or maybe I'll just cut that, but then...<br />
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It just won't fit. There is no simple way to patch it in. You're going to have to restructure everything.<br />
Well, shoot.<br />
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I'm wracking my brain right now, but this is the point I'm at. I want this new detail to go in, but it's not fitting and I've been turning it every which way. This can be one of the most frustrating parts about writing. Everyone loves a good story. We want our work to be good, but there are imperfections. And I'm a perfectionist, which means you know these changes are going to happen, but I'm dragging my feet.<br />
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I wanted to believe that I had already added the necessary elements, then I get hit with this. I am complaining a bit, because it feels unfair. But as I learned from a tender age (from the mouth of my kindergarten teacher), "life's not fair" and to complete that statement: "and the sooner she learns that the better off she'll be." Well, Ms. Mary, this is unfair, but I'm going to do something about it.<br />
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I am going to decide whether I want this or not and if I do, then I'm going to be creating a Draft 4 and integrating this in, even if I have to tear up a ton of great things in the process.<br />
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Tell me about a time in your life when you came to a realization that something wasn't working and it just felt unfair. I would love to hear your stories and how you acted when confronting it.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-37155425064763908702020-03-02T21:46:00.002-08:002020-03-02T21:47:30.067-08:00All the Way or Not at All?A few weeks ago, I focused on shooting for dreams and I'm going to continue that theme with a focus on this quote: "If you're not going to go all the way, why go at all?" A bit darker and more ultimatum-y but that's the point. Dreams are hard to hold onto and they can change. Maybe we set our expectations lower. Maybe we learn that's not what we really wanted after all.<br />
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The key factor is You. What will you do?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG5dC-r34WJTv6oLlP7q8FlBBX6qrnOjqiLxedL6-MLHWZ7XBtN7Vqw28zMAuLk1B2n7tYanLp9ixU5Xbc03NmtYyjPfSYNPpFtIl5dXvJKuEhrBAFYT5MLc-vEt3_uIXYVasX059eTy0/s1600/57539461349__B34276B2-C578-4334-838D-A267C09642AD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG5dC-r34WJTv6oLlP7q8FlBBX6qrnOjqiLxedL6-MLHWZ7XBtN7Vqw28zMAuLk1B2n7tYanLp9ixU5Xbc03NmtYyjPfSYNPpFtIl5dXvJKuEhrBAFYT5MLc-vEt3_uIXYVasX059eTy0/s320/57539461349__B34276B2-C578-4334-838D-A267C09642AD.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In case it's hard to read the small cursive print.<br />
This page of a coloring book says,<br />
"Everybody wants happiness,<br />
nobody wants pain,<br />
but you can't have a rainbow<br />
without a little rain."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Sorry, couldn't help myself.<br />
<br />
But to expand on this quote of going all the way, I see it as this: Put effort into what you love and what you want. Half-hearted attempts are going to demoralize you. There are so many paths for us to walk on, but you can't take all of them or else you'll never get anywhere.<br />
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I've seen this happen with many people in my life. It happens to me. There are these opportunities and passions that we pour ourselves into and then we turn around and say we didn't really want that anyway. Why did we turn around?<br />
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I think there are two reasons:<br />
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1. An obstacle pops up<br />
2. We realize what we really want<br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
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A lot of things can fit number one. We could lose hope in ourselves and mentally lose touch with the dream. We could believe that there is not enough time to do it or it's not moving fast enough so perhaps our patience is being tested. We could find ourselves confronting one obstacle after another and decide that the challenges are too high and that it's not worth our time. I might be able to continue giving examples, but I think you get the point. Obstacles come in all shapes and sizes. They are obstacles because they stand in the way of our goals.<br />
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On the other hand, you could come to the realization that you have been in pursuit of a dream that isn't something you really want after all. I can volunteer an example for that. When I was in high school, I joined the track & field team. I wanted to sprint. I thought that I wanted to be seen as an athlete and that I wanted to do a sport. I was a part of it for two years before I realized that I hated it. Absolutely hated it and it was making me sick.<br />
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The athlete dream was something that I thought I wanted because athletes were seen as the gold stars and role models of high school. Athletes were cool. It takes a lot of work and dedication to be an athlete. I liked running, but not for long distances. Over time the competition became pointless to me, especially because I wasn't fast.<br />
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One time, there were only two of us in a heat (term for a group of runners who are going to race against each other) and we were both on the same team. What was the point? We were obviously not going against another team and our points weren't going to count. It was just a chance for us to run at the meet and yeah, I kind of backstabbed my compatriot. We agreed to finish together and I was just furious that I was running at all (for a 400 meter, no less) so I sprinted the last 100 meters and finished ahead of her. Not my finest hour, but I needed to burn off the angry energy.<br />
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I kept with the training and meets, finishing the two seasons, but as the third approached, I found myself physically getting ill at the thought of practice. I had planned on training in the winter before the spring arrived so that I would be more prepared for the season when the truth hit me and I backed out. It was a difficult decision. I already felt partially committed and when I talked to the coach, he wanted to know why and I felt like a fraud. I felt like I was letting him down, when I knew that disappearing from the team wouldn't make a difference. Letting go of an identity is difficult and it can feel like you're making a mistake. After I made my decision, I felt relief and guilt. I was so happy that I didn't have to do that anymore and then so guilty that I was so relieved. Have you ever felt that way about something? It was a tumultuous year, but the truth is I'm glad. And yeah, it's like five years later and sometimes I wonder what could have been, but mostly I remind myself that I made the right decision.<br />
<br />
Hmm... So this turned into something.<br />
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I think I went off on a tangent so let's try to get back on track.<br />
Committing is half the battle to succeeding. You need to know what you want and you need to go for it. Be relentless because the thing you really love is worth it. When I wrote Island Whispers, I decided that I was going to publish it and so I wrote. I finished my first novel. I queried. I edited and then I actually got it published. I know I bring up this story a lot and that I talk about this success often, but this is a success for me. It was something that I wanted and for the most part, I did it myself. I pushed myself forward and I just really want to be that girl again. I want to believe that it is possible to do the things that I want and I guess that starts with this question: How far are you willing to go?<br />
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What are your dreams? And how do your goals relate to them? Let me know in the comments. I'd love to hear your stories!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-53174323415192658092020-02-11T08:43:00.004-08:002020-02-11T08:43:45.352-08:00Before We Shoot for the Moon<div style="text-align: center;">
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."<br />
- Norman Vincent Peale or Leslie Brown<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Quotes can be so tricky as to their origin)</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Painting of a city in a hillside where the glow of the city cannot<br />completely obstruct the stars, yet it's trapped in its own little<br />bubble.</td></tr>
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Are you familiar with this quote? I think the first time I heard it was at a girl scout or girls on the run event. I think it featured on a t-shirt. Sadly, I do not have that t-shirt. </div>
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I love this quote. I really do and yet I'm seeing it in a new way now. What if your trajectory is off or you don't have enough lift? I know I'm taking this metaphor a bit literal, but consider the preparation that goes into the shooting. You can't just shoot into the dark and hope for it to land, you've got to put in the work. So back to that idea of being off and you hit the ground or you don't even get off the ground, it can be disheartening. You can be stalled before you even make the attempt. </div>
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I know it happens to me and I'm sure others have experienced this. You have such big dreams and hopes, then you step up to the launch pad and realize that it's a much greater distance than you imagine. This can mean that there are many more obstacles or much more time and effort that needs to be put forth than you originally thought. It could be many things. If you think about, you could probably come up with an example in your own life where the mountain rose up to block the moon.</div>
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As adults we experience this often, as children we don't.</div>
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(At least, that is my proposed theory)</div>
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When I wrote Island Whispers, I was just flinging whatever I could, jumping at any opportunity without any regard for process or whether it would be impossible to hit the moon. I just saw it as a challenge that I wanted to overcome and if I was persistent enough, I would overcome it. I wanted to become published and I knew there were obstacles but I saw them as springboards. Sure, there was a mountain in my way, but, if I got to the peak, I would have a better place to launch to the moon. It only brought me closer.</div>
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Childhood is funny that way. Sometimes we're so focused on the big picture that we forget about all the snags and disappointments along the way. It's not a bad thing. In fact, it might actually be the key for reaching those childhood dreams. If we lose hope, it becomes impossible to achieve things. Our inner critic demeans every attempt and we become too heartless to care. </div>
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So, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't lose hope. Hold onto those dreams. See those mountains, but don't give up. Keep going, because you don't know what you can achieve if you don't.</div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-50459288904740035152020-02-04T10:46:00.000-08:002020-02-04T10:46:27.314-08:00Ode to Stars<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I think this was the first thing I ever published. My friend was the president of the literary magazine at our high school and somehow this poem got in (I think it might have had a little help).</div>
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Anyway, enjoy the beginning of my career and a poem that I still love to read. My favorite part is the rhyme, of course.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZRhKmabDNBPoMgCyzMfMqlECgpnOQcI8seNorXWPZpfmvjiQakYzeK4ZE7rcaoehKtf_eGeAW2T3yf0yHEHyovHSGYK9hVfrKIfEZf6ohprfXP07M6f3D9S62ChdMXtr0hN-yxym1sM4/s1600/IMG_3317.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZRhKmabDNBPoMgCyzMfMqlECgpnOQcI8seNorXWPZpfmvjiQakYzeK4ZE7rcaoehKtf_eGeAW2T3yf0yHEHyovHSGYK9hVfrKIfEZf6ohprfXP07M6f3D9S62ChdMXtr0hN-yxym1sM4/s640/IMG_3317.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<br />Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-88454628958345992922020-01-28T09:56:00.002-08:002020-01-28T09:56:57.264-08:00The Cotton Anniversary<div style="text-align: center;">
Apparently, the traditional anniversary gift for the second anniversary is cotton. I really don't have anything cottony, but I did make the small quilt featured in the picture below. It <i>might</i> be made of cotton. We're closing in on my anniversary so I'm reflecting on what's happened since the publication.</div>
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January 31, 2018 - Island Whispers became available.</div>
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The past two years I have grown as a writer and figured out what I want from writing. It was a long journey to get to this point, but I'm glad for every turn along the way.</div>
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Island Whispers is a book about friendship and magic. The two things I craved most in the world at that age. Time is a great fixer of many things, but Will is just as important to get things moving. The thing about Will is that it needs some inkling of Hope. The greatest thing Island Whispers can leave you with is Hope.</div>
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Hope for the future is a wonderful thing. It can spur people to action and banish doubt from their hearts. When life is hopeless, we need a light to show us the way. </div>
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Sometimes that light is as simple as a story.</div>
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With gratitude and love, thank you to those who have supported me on this journey and to those who have been my light in the darkness.</div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-61202144024663602372020-01-21T11:52:00.002-08:002020-01-21T11:52:35.866-08:00Progress UpdateDear Reader of the Internet<br />
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I think I might have done one of these before, but I don't really tell y'all about my upcoming WIP (works in progress) and my plans. I think I briefly informed my writing bubble about Nanowrimo last summer and the faerie story I had worked on. There probably have been brief mentions of another project, perhaps the name "The Broken Bounty" will sound familiar to some.<br />
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My writing life has currently been absorbed by the world of the Broken Bounty. It has been my only WIP for the past few months and the only open document in my tool bar. I haven't dreamed about any other story or tried to plot anything else. Mostly this is because The Broken Bounty is nearly 4 years old and I want it to bring it into the world sooner than I brought Island Whispers (which took 6 years). We'll see if that's a possibility, but maybe you can infer from this update.<br />
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The Broken Bounty stands at 112,023 words. That includes the cover page and all of the chapter headings. We're still looking at over a hundred thousand words. I doubt that it will change much from that length. Most everything seems necessary or can be reasonably argued for its worth.<br />
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These words are split into 34 chapters and it is 380 pages in length. This is, of course, double-spaced. It has been rewritten more times than I can keep track of. But for the sake of some, I started doing "drafts" which sometimes seems silly to separate, and we're currently on Draft 3. Mind you, this is draft 3 of the draft that actually seemed likely for publication.<br />
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The original document for this book was a novella length story and contained only the skeleton of what it is now. This story has gone through multiple tweaks and it has actually had multiple readers. It has been beta read by Tori (a writer I met at State) and then the English Club (a group of writers I met at State) and even an unknown beta reader (who I do not know and will probably never know the identity of). I've sparsely discussed it among friends and hinted at it among those asking about my writing, but I've never really declared it. Now that time is coming.<br />
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I want to introduce The Broken Bounty to the world. To do that I plan on appealing to big publishers. I've already created a list: McElderberry Books, Scholastic Press, Magic Carpet Books Harcourt Inc., Viking, Firebird Fantasy, Random House, and Harper Collins. These are the names I pulled from the spines of some of my favorite books, and also books that are quite popular among others. Chances are slim, but I want to see if I can do this and I want to give The Broken Bounty its due.<br />
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For the time being, I'm polishing it up, tying over loose ends, changing things for clarity and checking the punctuation. Then I'll send out my query letters and wait. I'll keep y'all informed on the happenings and hopefully this journey will have a happy ending.<br />
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Thanks for being here!<br />
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MeganMeganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-3272904105575554652020-01-14T08:41:00.000-08:002020-01-14T08:41:37.692-08:00Realism in the ImaginaryOne of the challenges writers face is creating a story that is believable. Readers need to absorb our words and feel emotions related to our work. It can be a difficult path to navigate and often times treacherous when trying to make things "realistic."<br />
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What is "realistic"? How can anything realistic be interesting?<br />
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I ask the second question because I have experience listening in on conversations and observing humans in the world. I have been present at social gatherings and public spaces. On one particular noteworthy night, I sat on a concrete wall listening to music and jotting notes on the people around me. It was for a high school sociology class and my experiment was to observe what was imbibed by the people around me. From my fuzzy recollection, I recall tallying the wine and ice cream consumed by the people. I noted approximate ages and the number of people. I theorized that the music in question affected the crowd's demographic and thus, the consumables present.<br />
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While I fantasized that I was doing very important research and made my observations with sarcastic side comments, it wasn't revolutionary and frankly, if not for my ability to find humor in the mundane, it would have been quite boring.<br />
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I generally don't write stories that take place in our modern time and world because I find them yawn-inducing. That's not to say that writers don't succeed at making the mundane entertaining, but consider those stories. Are they realistic? Drama is played up. Emotions are out of control. Every sensory detail is heightened. Who experiences life that way?<br />
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I don't believe that I do. Most of my life seems to fade from my mind once the day is over. What happened yesterday? Hmm, yes, read something, ate something, read something else, ate something else, possibly saw someone. There aren't noteworthy moments at every second of the day and that's key. When you read a novel, you are getting the crucial points that need to be made. You're not getting agonizing descriptions of every meal and the MC getting ready for bed (not usually). Each scene highlights an important moment and we even skip over the things that would get tedious.<br />
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Think about Harry Potter. Sure, Hogwarts is exciting. It's a school for witchcraft and wizardry but, at the end of the day, classes are classes and we would be tired if J. K. Rowling explained each in detail. Once we've gotten a basis for classes, time just flies. It's the start of term, then it's Halloween, now it's Christmas, then they're leaving for the year. Each book is a year, but not every moment is described which is why we find it entertaining.<br />
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This topic came to my attention because I read an article about books that depict "Realistic Romances" and the writer of the article posed the same question of what does that really mean and are there any realistic romances?<br />
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From my cynical mind, no, there are not any realistic romances depicted in most literature (I can't say all because there are always exceptions). Full blown romances that stand the test of time with nary a problem are unrealistic. I do not believe they are possible. Skipping all the awkward moments - even more unlikely. We're not perfect and our relationships with others are far from perfect.<br />
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People fall in love, they get angry or jealous, they break-up, they make-up, maybe they make-out, and then possibly it falls apart again. Then the same sequence happens again. Throw marriage in there or some type of commitment. You'll still end up with problems.<br />
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Now, I'm not against romance and I do believe that relationships can last, but there are a lot of forces that prevent that from happening and it seems most aren't able to handle it. I doubt I'm capable. So while the concept of love conquers all and it being a strong force to reckon with is nice (butterflies and daisies), it does not seem realistic. End of story. Try to convince me otherwise. Actually that would be fun. If you've got a point that differs, let me know. I love constructive arguments and differing opinions. It's how we learn.<br />
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If you want to read an opinion on Realistic Romances, check out this article by <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/snow-white-doesnt-live-here-anymore/201912/is-realistic-romance-realistic-option" target="_blank">Gina Barreca from Psychology Today</a>. This was the inspiration for my post today.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-60494364187456726252020-01-07T10:05:00.002-08:002020-01-07T10:05:44.250-08:00Beauty of the Inspired PlaceI know I've taken a bit of a hiatus. Two weeks and no posts at all, yet I imagine that most people were busy and the truth is, I was too. Busier than I expected since I'm far from everyone I know. It just goes to show you that no matter where you are, you're never alone and you don't have to be alone if you choose to engage with others. I crashed three different family gatherings and attended a few neighbor parties. It was fun and so I hope that you also had some good experiences over those last two weeks in December.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This post is going to be long and picture-filled.<br />This is the first picture that I want to showcase<br />because it shows the simple life I lived in Oxford.<br />I spent 4 weeks of summer there and took classes.<br />We traveled about on the weekends and it was wonderful.<br />I had so much time to think and write.</td></tr>
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<br />There are places that you can go and feel inspired. My theory is that different characteristics of places make them inspiring to people and that since each person is inspired by different things, many places could fill this list and they would all be correct.<br />
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However, it can generally be agreed upon that certain places are universally inspiring. Whether it's a hidden spot in nature or a bustling human metropolis, there are places that just light our imaginations on fire.<br />
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Phillip Pullman (author of His Dark Materials series) has the same inspiration as me: Oxford. In his collection of essays and speeches (Daemon Voices), he explains that just walking through the morning fog or gazing at certain buildings creates a fanciful air that inspires him. While I was in Oxford, I felt similarly inspired. There is beauty in the familiar and unfamiliar and, for me, Oxford was unfamiliar. Sure, I'd heard about it and I'd read Deborah Harkness's A Discovery of Witches, so I knew the names of some of the buildings, but I hadn't seen it or walked its streets. Being there was a whole other experience that had me daydreaming.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQxLoBJiS6tRT77ClFn98igXRguUq8twfmCAYtKV9ofKQ2JRkf0rpqHzk7SSINE9iDIPBgIgUPyfjOQi-t_A8GreUo9ssD84rZ1ZgPyeEKr1aXPaIeB_5tKDvr6m8hC952wxpNtl0ZASk/s1600/IMG_0480.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQxLoBJiS6tRT77ClFn98igXRguUq8twfmCAYtKV9ofKQ2JRkf0rpqHzk7SSINE9iDIPBgIgUPyfjOQi-t_A8GreUo9ssD84rZ1ZgPyeEKr1aXPaIeB_5tKDvr6m8hC952wxpNtl0ZASk/s320/IMG_0480.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the Radcliffe Camera. It's a library and<br />supposedly has underground tunnels that connect<br />it to the Bodleian library. While you have to be a<br />student to enter the building, tourists can gaze at the<br />majestic outside and imagine its interior.</td></tr>
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<a name='more'></a>England as a whole has inspirational settings (at least, for me) and I found myself making notes and describing them for use later. See, if you want a boarding school air to something, look no further than one of the colleges in Oxford. I stayed in Somerville College, from where we slept to where we ate and where we had classes, you include any of those spaces in a story. Granted, you can do that with an American university too or any other place in the world, but the English have this allure of stateliness and propriety that fits with the stories I write. <div>
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Also, I like to write cities and places that are older. I'm not a modern writer and I rarely have settings that are in the here and now. I've tried it, but I get bored too easily. Give me magic and mystery and things that have history in their bones!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a door. Quite obvious, right?<br />But can you see the intricate details on and around it.<br />If you're familiar with C. S. Lewis's The Lion, The<br />Witch and The Wardrobe, then you can probably<br />spot the lion and fauns. If you were to turn your head<br />left, then you would also see a lamppost.<br />Do you see how much fun the streets are in Oxford?</td></tr>
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Oftentimes, I struggle with architectural details. How do I want a space to look? Where will things be placed? Vague ideas do not a city make. So walking the streets of Oxford, Bath, and London gave me inspiration for what to do. Once you've been somewhere, you will have a mental map of it. It may be crude. It may be fairly unformed, but it's a place to start and that's what I needed. Before the four weeks had ended, I had a good head for the streets and getting around Oxford. We didn't get lost but, then again, sometimes you want to get lost. <div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7psHKD9R4yR5OzpBf7YoVDhUScjR9JvIU8mBI3cEmpSFDd-x9Yin-ozrQHFkGl0Xr3hPe4JkotfDyjGw9w8QvVvphrzgKvnx4FECTtmGR66KNX8iYNvBqgWMXLFTOiJKS94D-RxM_sj4/s1600/IMG_0635.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7psHKD9R4yR5OzpBf7YoVDhUScjR9JvIU8mBI3cEmpSFDd-x9Yin-ozrQHFkGl0Xr3hPe4JkotfDyjGw9w8QvVvphrzgKvnx4FECTtmGR66KNX8iYNvBqgWMXLFTOiJKS94D-RxM_sj4/s320/IMG_0635.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This chemists shop is something that I took inspiration<br />from when I created my apothecary in a WIP. I liked<br />the darkened interior, the large windows and the<br />displays of things inside. It also seems to be part of<br />a neighborhood and not a bunch of shops which was<br />curious and another characteristic I added to my story.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So here is my call to action. I encourage you to seek out your inspiring places. Travel, whether its down the street from home or to another country altogether, and find the places that light your imagination on fire. What do you notice about those places and can you put your finger on what is so inspiring?<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Think of this as a nice active challenge for you to notice things around you and to daydream at your leisure. If you want to share where you've gone and what you found, feel free to comment below! I'd love to hear about the places that inspire you.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmXfOLo-tIWR16vhs4uhcLHinTVodW5S9sykuUfX3OnJB9fZhpmQ7U_kci-NnSWSmardH4i4gSK1Grpn93PGbUhyaZ42ZS3nWt35Nx_hgSLPDEj2WwcADkBLyfiQRN64G6_Cry6bQzpgA/s1600/IMG_0612.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmXfOLo-tIWR16vhs4uhcLHinTVodW5S9sykuUfX3OnJB9fZhpmQ7U_kci-NnSWSmardH4i4gSK1Grpn93PGbUhyaZ42ZS3nWt35Nx_hgSLPDEj2WwcADkBLyfiQRN64G6_Cry6bQzpgA/s320/IMG_0612.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is in Bath and I liked the steps in the water. The crashing of it all<br />provided a pleasing backdrop and reminded me vaguely of the<br />moment in Les Miserables when the Inspector jumps off the bridge and into<br />raging waters. While this is definitely more peaceful, there is a<br />certain similarity between the settings.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /><div>
<br /><div>
<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-29431894155108281642019-12-17T16:07:00.003-08:002019-12-17T16:07:48.186-08:00Book Review: DecemberThere are times in your life where the chance opportunities flourish and grant more to you than you could have imagined. This is a book review and I will review my chosen book after I tell you how I found it. If I was not working in a bookstore, if I did not have a late shift, if I was not the person on the floor, if, if, if...then I would not have met G.S. Denning and perhaps I would have never known the sheer comedic joy of reading Warlock Holmes.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC7a2Ddyg59O2t4F8IARN4c3b-g3vYIYWWAWbyN2Jy-5SY061GU-Ud1PTRvOyS6jsQojqnsTh1LZ6VrbXjy5fvfZKNQf6W41EVCD-o_BORCU7Sfj6-vQ9f4afXh7TliqlSwAFumzsiKfg/s1600/IMG_3117.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC7a2Ddyg59O2t4F8IARN4c3b-g3vYIYWWAWbyN2Jy-5SY061GU-Ud1PTRvOyS6jsQojqnsTh1LZ6VrbXjy5fvfZKNQf6W41EVCD-o_BORCU7Sfj6-vQ9f4afXh7TliqlSwAFumzsiKfg/s320/IMG_3117.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Warlock Holmes: A Study in Brimstone.<br />Unsigned (For now).</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I was returning to the customer service desk when I noticed a man standing there and - WRITING in a book. We had authors come in randomly to sign their books before and I wasn't that worried, but I was curious. The first thing he said to me was, "Don't worry. I'm just signing them. I'm the author." So perhaps I did have a worried expression on my face. I said it was alright, we'd had authors come in before and I asked him about his book.<br />
<br />
Thus began an entertaining conversation that traversed the realm of Sherlock Holmes to Cons. peppered with anecdotes and tidbits about the cover and events he'd attended. His book was the perfect two-word pitch. "Warlock Holmes." Now what do you imagine that's about?<br />
<br />
I am a fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's great consulting detective. I've read the original stories many times and I love to learn trivia about it. When I studied abroad in England, the one place I had to visit was the recreation of 221B Baker Street. I've devoted great stores of brain power and space to Sherlock Holmes, but I do not regret a single impulse to devour what I can about him and his writer.<br />
<br />
Warlock Holmes can be best described if the world was turned on its head and then hit a few times with a baseball bat. The character of Holmes is not the least bit skilled in investigation. He is like a kicked puppy. I can imagine him pouting with innocent blinking for effect. Despite his inability to logically reason through many things, he is a fountain of mysterious power and a consulter of demons.<br />
<br />
Watson, on the other hand, is purely human, but he has the logic and observation skills that Holmes lacks. They make for an interesting pair as Denning rumbles through the plots of the original stories with some rebellious twists and transmutations of demonic proportion.<br />
<br />
Each story contains wit and humor and a thread of story that links them together. A Brimstone Thread perhaps? All the familiar characters are there, including appearances by Mrs. Hudson that will make you rethink her oh so minor role in the originals. There is much fun to be had in reading and I will add these books to my shelf to peruse again and again.<br />
<br />
As for the signed copies, we only had the second and third in stock. So I put in an order for the first and bought the other two books. One day I shall seek G. S. Denning out and get him to sign the first book, but until now I'm happily reading and laughing maniacally at my good fortune.<br />
<br />
You truly cannot know who will come to the bookstore.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-59678340603818474892019-12-10T23:31:00.001-08:002019-12-10T23:31:38.388-08:00Different Types of Love: The Love TriangleMy apologies for such a late post. It has been quite a busy day. I had my last class of the quarter and took an exam that had been consuming my thoughts for the past week. After much cramming and muttering to myself, I managed to pull a passing score and that is enough for this quarter.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if I've stated this directly on my blog, but I'm in a counseling psychology program. I mention it because I often bring in psychological theories in these posts and if you're wondering why I have such a fascination, there's your answer. I have passionately studied psychology since high school when it was first introduced to me and now I want to learn what I can to help others. Along the way, I find out interesting facts and theories that I like to connect to writing.<br />
<br />
In the last few hours of this day December 10, (at least on the West Coast), I bring you:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgakvHvXP9mAY4TmfWR68RXSBm6GbqG0leQwZo2W7nKWhKpRsqHZP-lIYNWjGjOeiDZkGkGx1ubC7IpIprBPzVLtpY3LnTQTmfZfQdSeC6HRxUtuv1WnW49HDBcnI2mvMkeTDPhjbQwis0/s1600/IMG_3069.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgakvHvXP9mAY4TmfWR68RXSBm6GbqG0leQwZo2W7nKWhKpRsqHZP-lIYNWjGjOeiDZkGkGx1ubC7IpIprBPzVLtpY3LnTQTmfZfQdSeC6HRxUtuv1WnW49HDBcnI2mvMkeTDPhjbQwis0/s400/IMG_3069.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sternberg's Triangle - drawn by me</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
I'd come across it before, but this time I decided to consider each aspect and connect it to relationships I've observed in books. Feel free to comment and tell me about relationships you've read about and which part of the triangle applies!<br />
<br />
First off, each point of the triangle represents a singular concept of love, whether its passion, intimacy, or commitment; these three are necessary components and reoccurring themes in relationships. Intimacy, of course, is the feeling of connectedness and the fuzzy warmth of a relationship where you can share things and feel accepted. Passion is that strong physical attraction that makes people do heroic and stupid things (judgement on which is up for debate). Commitment means stability, in the sense that this person will stay by your side through thick and thin.<br />
<br />
Then you have the combinations.<br />
<br />
Passion + Intimacy = Romantic Love<br />
Fire and closeness, the possibility of getting burned - romantic love is usually the first stage of relationships and can create that "spark" of connection.<br />
<br />
Intimacy + Commitment = Companionate Love<br />
Closeness and loyalty can be a good combination for friendship. The trust from companionate love builds a strong foundation and can stick around for many years.<br />
<br />
Passion + Commitment = Fatuous Love<br />
A steady fire is to be appreciated, but you can still be burned. Without intimacy, this relationship may be fraught with intense encounters, but there isn't enough trust and disclosure to allow emotions to peek through.<br />
<br />
Lastly, a combination of Passion, Intimacy and Commitments = Consummate Love<br />
All three meshed together create a thriving relationship where one is dedicated to loving and disclosing to their partner. It's a winning combination and the kind of thing great romances are based on, but is it achievable?<br />
<br />
Next, I'm going to give some examples of the different loves, starting with Island Whispers!<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Alright, so I've decided to elaborate on three different relationships in Island Whispers. I'll explain which love is between them from the triangle and why I think that is so.<br />
<br />
Monica - Adam (Admon? Monadam? What ship name would you create for these two?)<br />
Monica and Adam begin with intimacy. They meet. They get to know each other and trust begins to form. I see their relationship as a slow blooming flower. In its infancy, they are still learning about each other. Next, they become committed to each other as they begin to explore the island. Their friendship is growing along with something else. That something else is just a small flicker of passion, but it grows with strength throughout the novel. I don't think they reach the full potency of consummate love, but their relationship definitely gets the closest.<br />
<br />
Angelica - Grant (I'm not going to even try to give them a ship)<br />
Angelica and Grant begin with different types of love for each other. While Adam and Monica seemed to be on the same page from one type of love to another, Grant has passion for Angelica and Angelica is just committed to Grant. While Grant pines a bit for his angel in the sky, she's not really thinking about him and when she does, she thinks with concern and caring. She wants to help, but she's not really thinking about romantic love. Their intimacy certainly grows throughout the novel. They begin to trust each other, but they keep secrets from each other too, so they never really reach any other points on the triangle. Grant may forever be doomed to the friendzone.<br />
<br />
Angelica - Keith<br />
The only rapidly developing relationship in the novel - most likely because of its dominating love type. Passion is pretty evident from the start on both sides and as they meet with each other more, it only grows. Angelica and Keith are the perfect "high school king and queen" with the image of a good combination. Their commitment to each other becomes clear as Angelica begins to take more opportunities to visit Keith and he does things to help her. However, the intimacy is lacking. While they share things with each other, Angelica knows that Keith is holding things back and that lack of sharing creates some trust issues. How much does she really know about him anyway? So while Angelica and Keith achieve fatuous love, they're not near the next level of consummate.<br />
<br />
<big sigh="" yawn=""></big><br />
<br />
I was going to expand and choose a few of my favorite books to explore the relationships in them I was thinking Cassandra Clare's Infernal Devices series, Fire, maybe Percy Jackson or Ally Carter's spy series the Gallagher Academy, but it's almost midnight and I really don't want to be burning the midnight oil. Perhaps those will have to wait for another post. In the mean time, if you've got examples of different love-relationships, comment and explain below. I'd love to hear from you!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-24341352370344551932019-12-03T08:50:00.000-08:002019-12-03T08:50:56.037-08:00First and Last<div style="text-align: center;">
The Truth is Time doesn't last</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and things of today are already the past.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One moment we breathe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The next we die.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One tear shed</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the cheek is dry.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
First comes a wealth of Fire,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
heat brings a drought,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
until it all seems dire.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then comes the Rain -</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a resounding downpour -</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
until it all drains,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a drowned world no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In summary, our world always ends</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and yet,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the end of one world is where another begins.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-36276524467261316762019-11-26T07:57:00.001-08:002019-11-26T07:57:57.530-08:00When in Doubt, Go Back to the BasicsAn integral part of school is the essay. No matter what grade you are in or degree, you generally are going to have to write at least one. I know most people abhor essay writing and there are a very slim number of essay enthusiasts. So I'm going to tell you what you already know, but what you may forget when overwhelmed with the prospect of writing.<br />
<br />
Go back to the basics.<br />
<br />
Write an outline.<br />
I know. It's simple and obvious, but even I sometimes forget this tool. Outlines will give you structure, especially when your professor is giving you none.<br />
<br />
A basic outline looks like this:<br />
<br />
Introductory paragraph -<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Hook</li>
<ul>
<li>(Draw the reader in. Tell them that they want more with this first sentence. A very similar quality that writers want in their novels.)</li>
</ul>
<li>Background/Summary</li>
<ul>
<li>(Help your reader out. Maybe they know everything about your topic, maybe they don't. Give them enough ground to stand on so that they're not lost later.)</li>
</ul>
<li>Thesis Statement</li>
<ul>
<li>(Make your argument. You're here to prove something and this is just a small preview of what is in store.)</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div>
Body Paragraph 1 -</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Lead-In/Mini Thesis Statement</li>
<li>Argument 1</li>
<ul>
<li>(By the way, you can have multiple arguments in the body paragraphs, but the general rule of 3 is good to live by. Too many and the paragraph may become its own essay. Too few and you might struggle to get the point across.)</li>
</ul>
<li>Mini Conclusion/Set-Up for next paragraph</li>
<ul>
<li>(Potentially you don't need to set up. Just wrap it up on a good note so that they're satisfied with this argument and can move onto your next paragraph.)</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div>
Body Paragraph 2 -</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Lead-In/Mini Thesis Statement</li>
<ul>
<li>(It's a good idea to refer back to your original/intro thesis and tie it back around, but don't use repetitive phrasing or your reader will get annoyed.)</li>
</ul>
<li>Argument 1</li>
<li>Mini Conclusion/Set-Up for next paragraph</li>
</ul>
<div>
Body Paragraph 3 -</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Lead-In/Mini Thesis Statement</li>
<ul>
<li>(Wash, rinse, repeat...an essay has a repetitive format which can get old, but can make it easier for you to write it.)</li>
</ul>
<li>Argument 1</li>
<li>Mini Conclusion/Set-Up for next paragraph</li>
</ul>
<div>
Conclusion -</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Summary</li>
<ul>
<li>(At last, you're almost there. Draw your points together and get it done.)</li>
</ul>
<li>Ending Thought/Takeaway Point/Call to Action</li>
<ul>
<li>(This is your time to tell the reader, but that's not all. This is how this is applicable or "go forth and conquer" with these new strategies.)</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
Now there are many variations and different terms for outlines, so this is definitely not an end-all-be-all model. However, if you find yourself thrown for a loop and scrambling to finish that essay, start with an outline. It might just save your life.</div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-44842326779035701652019-11-19T20:58:00.005-08:002019-11-19T20:58:47.220-08:00Following Your HeartA bit of a life update and a reflection on life at this point.<br />
<br />
I'm currently in a graduate program and it's requiring so much of my time and energy. I did expect it, since this is what I want to do with the rest of my life, but, at the same time, I'm overwhelmed with the amount of work. Projects, assignments, essays and the like are all piling up and the end of the quarter is only a few weeks away. I also have a part-time job and I mention that to say I have more than just school concerns.<br />
<br />
The past few weeks have not been kind. I wasn't sleeping well. I felt distracted and easily frustrated. In turn, I didn't eat as well as I should have, snacking on sugary foods and things that were less wholesome and more empty-calorie-focused. It felt like everything was spinning out of control.<br />
<br />
And I guess that's where this post comes in.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwAFqo2iWfEwqeOT9KUfhN9Kt1IM8jbk4PP0K-z6wRWpMhAE5mQjt6GEqUcEU3vY4A0dU9w0KFMs8XfbJPO496WaOHC6dqppQuDGYzZ4J4xsLYpqqDNT00QEtqTxYRLKxYnQkhUJOQEIU/s1600/IMG_2782.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwAFqo2iWfEwqeOT9KUfhN9Kt1IM8jbk4PP0K-z6wRWpMhAE5mQjt6GEqUcEU3vY4A0dU9w0KFMs8XfbJPO496WaOHC6dqppQuDGYzZ4J4xsLYpqqDNT00QEtqTxYRLKxYnQkhUJOQEIU/s200/IMG_2782.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We are every part of ourselves,<br />down to the shadows at our feet.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I was losing control of all the things going on in my life and it was causing me distress.<br />
<br />
Last week, I just had enough. I was tired and completely depleted of energy. I didn't want to think about school or all of the obligations that I couldn't figure out how to fulfill. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep so that I could escape all of the pressures hounding me.<br />
<br />
Except sleep still wasn't coming easy and I lay there stewing through my negative thoughts. One of my frustrations was that I hadn't been writing. I hadn't picked up a pen, looked through my ideas or typed out a sentence in weeks and I couldn't help feeling like a failure. I kept pushing writing away because of my other concerns and because I felt guilty to indulge in it when I had other things to worry about. Writing also felt like it would be stressful, because it would be adding something else onto my already fragile plate.<br />
<br />
However, this night I was just so tired of not doing it that I gave in. I couldn't sleep anyway so why couldn't I distract myself with my own stories and characters?<br />
<br />
To update on my writing life, I've been struggling with editing a manuscript and the changes felt monumental and insurmountable. Every time I even considered what I had to do, I'd feel frozen and helpless. I wanted to finish this project and clean it up so that I could send it to my publishers, but I kept feeling like I wasn't enough. So I put it off.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Until this night, that is.<br />
<br />
I let myself think through the story. I dreamed and imagined and it began to play out. I knew what the issues were. I'd read the comments and critiques a hundred times cementing them into my memory. They'd become so ingrained in my conscious thought that it was hard to see past them. But this is my story and I wanted it to improve, so I gave it another chance and things started to make sense.<br />
<br />
There's something about playing with ideas and letting your mind wander that is conducive for creative thought. Solutions that weren't even on the horizon appear and all of the puzzle pieces begin to fit together. I started to see the forest for the trees and vice versa.<br />
<br />
One of my issues had to do with the ending. It wasn't wrapped up neatly. There were still questions. Readers could still argue that things were unresolved. Resolution is important, but not always necessary. Still I couldn't help my own nagging feelings that it felt unfinished and wasn't the best way that it could end. There had to be something, but I just didn't feel smart enough to figure it out.<br />
<br />
This mind wandering diversion from sleep cleared it up though. I needed a distraction, a ploy that would look real and yet would hide the truth, and that's when it became clear. Details from earlier on and later collided and I realized that with a few changes, I could create a Romeo & Juliet type ending that still came out with its own meaning and merit. Tragic, but hopeful.<br />
<br />
I spent half the night going from laying down to scribbling notes about these new ideas, but it was worth it. I felt calmer, more settled and less stressed than I'd felt in days. Following my heart and my passion really was a saving grace for my mental health.<br />
<br />
Writing is something that I have control over and being reminded of my own ability to problem solve helped me to work out the other situations in my life that were spiraling out of control.<br />
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I don't know if it will work for others, but it might and so that's my post for today. Following your heart may help you succeed in ways that you don't realize, because it's all connected. Our lives are interrelated parts that are held together through tension. We can't let one go without having it backfire and negatively affect another aspect of ourselves.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4802619478133684704.post-46538723089417394572019-11-12T10:48:00.000-08:002019-11-12T10:48:00.926-08:00Book Review: NovemberA young heroine must endure trials of body, mind and spirit to save her family and herself. The first dream in Maia Tamarin's heart is to become a tailor and the best tailor in their world. However, tailors can only be men. She begins the story stuck in a small port town while her brothers go off to war. Her father used to be one of the best tailors around but after the death of his wife, the family fell on hard times. Maia becomes the thread that holds the family together, and at the war's end she's the only one keeping them from tearing apart.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I got this from work. Yes, I work at B&N now. I'm so<br />glad that I decided to pick this one up because it was a<br />pleasant diversion into another world and I admire Maia<br />so much. Plus, the cover is absolutely gorgeous.</td></tr>
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However, a request from royalty might save her family and bring her what she most desires. The court wants <i>Master</i> Tamarin to show off his skill and become the court tailor. It's down to Maia to accept the challenge and save her family's name, because a court position is not to be refused.</div>
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She travels to the illustrious court and finds that it's not just any position, it's a competition. She must compete with the other Master Tailors and all under the guise of being a boy. Because if she's revealed, the price will be death and shame on her family forever. </div>
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If that weren't enough, the competition is for the emperor's bride-to-be and she is very picky. With enemies all around, Maia is one step from failure at every turn.</div>
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What I loved most about this book is Maia. She is a strong female character, and she is not a warrior. So many female heroines are fighters these days, but Maia battles with art. She is determined to win the competition on her own merits. She's prideful and stubborn, but she's willing to do the work and do it fairly. This world is already ripe with injustice but the only lie she tells is of her identity. She may not be male, but she shows her worth.</div>
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My second favorite part about this book is the Master Enchanter. A powerful man at the court who is able to do magic and he is enigmatically dangerous and funny. You can't pull the wool over a hawk's eyes and he sees everything. His role in Maia's journey is vital and important in helping her discover herself and the true extent of her craft. </div>
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This world is rich with details with history and stories that play crucial roles in the main plot. Not only is the cover beautiful, but this questing book is entertaining from the first page to the last. </div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05145198695664722225noreply@blogger.com0