Book Review: September

When something emotional occurs, it's that moment after that can really hit hard.

Sometimes we are just exhausted. Sometimes we don't know what to do or we don't know how to start. It can be overwhelming to feel these things. It can be scary and we may want to shut down. That's where Rising Strong comes in. Rising Strong is about wrestling/rumbling with emotions and working yourself back up after the fall.

Brene Brown was inspired by Theodore Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" speech, which I will post here for your edification. In Rising Strong, you can find this speech on pages (xx-xxi).

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly;...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

The title of one of Brene Brown's other books is Daring Greatly by the way, in reference to that part of the speech. So, soak that in. It is the man who is facing everything that matters. Man or woman, I should say, but quotes from history are often gendered toward males. So, the person who is facing the challenges and is "marred by dust and sweat and blood" from their effort.

Brene Brown says, stop the story and focus on that point of being down on the ground before achievement occurs. When we're hurting, we generally want to shut ourselves off from the world or we want to lash out and find ways to protect ourselves. Sitting with vulnerability is uncomfortable, feeling shame or guilt can be unbearable, but the question is "will you try to bear it anyway?"

One thing that Brene Brown emphasizes is leaning into discomfort. She doesn't sugar-coat things and she states it plainly on the first page of the introduction: "You're going to stumble, fall, and get your ass kicked." You're going to feel hurt.

That's the truth of the situation, but she also says that it's worth it. It is worth the pain and the failure for the results achieved at the end, but before we get to those results, we need to figure out the middle and what happens there.

One of my favorite quotes from her is: "The middle is messy, but it's where the magic happens."

Brene Brown visited with Pixar's team and learned about their story process. They use the three act structure of storytelling with an emphasis on Joseph Campbell's "hero's journey." The team talked with Brene about their story process and one of the team members explained that the second act was the most difficult. The second act is when the work is done for the rising to take place.

That's when she came to the realization that you can't skip the middle or act two. You have to deal with it and go through the mess. That's when she began to investigate more. Early on in the book, Brene Brown has her "Lake Travis" story where she and her husband lean into vulnerability and have a constructive argument/disclosure. This story became something that she referred to often, but her realization at Pixar made her scrutinize it. Where was act II in all of that?

Act II was the story she was making up. The thoughts in her head and the torrent of emotions that bombarded her as she swam that day in Lake Travis. She went through so many imaginary conversations and ideas of how to address the situation. Most of them were focused on protecting herself and getting back at Steve, her husband. However, she decided to lean into vulnerability, "choosing courage over comfort" and try to connect with Steve and find out what was going on. Choosing that helped them as they worked through the images and rooted out the truth behind the emotions and thoughts.

Rising Strong addresses those rumbles through tough emotions using stories to demonstrate the concepts. Brene Brown says that there are three steps: the reckoning, the rumble, and the revolution.

A lot of this relates to what I'm learning for counseling, so think of Rising Strong as the self-improvement book that gives you the ability to connect with what you're feeling and work through it to lead a "wholehearted" life (to use Brown's words) and rise from the falls.

I suppose it's dramatic, but this book could really change your life. It's always your choice, but I believe that just learning about this will change the way you see the world. If you have the interest and the time definitely check out Rising Strong and see what it can inspire in you.