All the Way or Not at All?

A few weeks ago, I focused on shooting for dreams and I'm going to continue that theme with a focus on this quote: "If you're not going to go all the way, why go at all?" A bit darker and more ultimatum-y but that's the point. Dreams are hard to hold onto and they can change. Maybe we set our expectations lower. Maybe we learn that's not what we really wanted after all.

The key factor is You. What will you do?

In case it's hard to read the small cursive print.
This page of a coloring book says,
"Everybody wants happiness,
nobody wants pain,
but you can't have a rainbow
without a little rain."

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

But to expand on this quote of going all the way, I see it as this: Put effort into what you love and what you want. Half-hearted attempts are going to demoralize you. There are so many paths for us to walk on, but you can't take all of them or else you'll never get anywhere.

I've seen this happen with many people in my life. It happens to me. There are these opportunities and passions that we pour ourselves into and then we turn around and say we didn't really want that anyway. Why did we turn around?

I think there are two reasons:

1. An obstacle pops up
2. We realize what we really want



A lot of things can fit number one. We could lose hope in ourselves and mentally lose touch with the dream. We could believe that there is not enough time to do it or it's not moving fast enough so perhaps our patience is being tested. We could find ourselves confronting one obstacle after another and decide that the challenges are too high and that it's not worth our time. I might be able to continue giving examples, but I think you get the point. Obstacles come in all shapes and sizes. They are obstacles because they stand in the way of our goals.

On the other hand, you could come to the realization that you have been in pursuit of a dream that isn't something you really want after all. I can volunteer an example for that. When I was in high school, I joined the track & field team. I wanted to sprint. I thought that I wanted to be seen as an athlete and that I wanted to do a sport. I was a part of it for two years before I realized that I hated it. Absolutely hated it and it was making me sick.

The athlete dream was something that I thought I wanted because athletes were seen as the gold stars and role models of high school. Athletes were cool. It takes a lot of work and dedication to be an athlete. I liked running, but not for long distances. Over time the competition became pointless to me, especially because I wasn't fast.

One time, there were only two of us in a heat (term for a group of runners who are going to race against each other) and we were both on the same team. What was the point? We were obviously not going against another team and our points weren't going to count. It was just a chance for us to run at the meet and yeah, I kind of backstabbed my compatriot. We agreed to finish together and I was just furious that I was running at all (for a 400 meter, no less) so I sprinted the last 100 meters and finished ahead of her. Not my finest hour, but I needed to burn off the angry energy.

I kept with the training and meets, finishing the two seasons, but as the third approached, I found myself physically getting ill at the thought of practice. I had planned on training in the winter before the spring arrived so that I would be more prepared for the season when the truth hit me and I backed out. It was a difficult decision. I already felt partially committed and when I talked to the coach, he wanted to know why and I felt like a fraud. I felt like I was letting him down, when I knew that  disappearing from the team wouldn't make a difference. Letting go of an identity is difficult and it can feel like you're making a mistake. After I made my decision, I felt relief and guilt. I was so happy that I didn't have to do that anymore and then so guilty that I was so relieved. Have you ever felt that way about something? It was a tumultuous year, but the truth is I'm glad. And yeah, it's like five years later and sometimes I wonder what could have been, but mostly I remind myself that I made the right decision.

Hmm... So this turned into something.

I think I went off on a tangent so let's try to get back on track.
Committing is half the battle to succeeding. You need to know what you want and you need to go for it. Be relentless because the thing you really love is worth it. When I wrote Island Whispers, I decided that I was going to publish it and so I wrote. I finished my first novel. I queried. I edited and then I actually got it published. I know I bring up this story a lot and that I talk about this success often, but this is a success for me. It was something that I wanted and for the most part, I did it myself. I pushed myself forward and I just really want to be that girl again. I want to believe that it is possible to do the things that I want and I guess that starts with this question: How far are you willing to go?

What are your dreams? And how do your goals relate to them? Let me know in the comments. I'd love to hear your stories!