April 27, 2023

"I just need some time to think" and The Body Problem

 How many times have we heard those words? How many times have we said those words?

It's a well known, not often discussed, truth that we are thinking beings and we need time to process. Our brains can only do so much at once and if we're overwhelmed, less so. If someone has ever told you to "sleep on it," they're not wrong. Many studies and scientific minds have proposed that sleep is a huge factor in our ability to process and a necessary component of our lives. However, many of us face a lack of sleep or inability to sleep due to stress from work, school, social obligations or society as a whole. 

What else can we do then?

I am a firm believer in movement and there is some evidence for physical exercise benefitting our brain. The flow of oxygen and the stimulation provide nutrition to our brain and aide our day-to-day. Walking is definitely a good way to do this, but when I can, I run.

Some people view running like a religion. Some make it their goal with marathons and other races. I honestly see it as a necessary discomfort. Running is rarely easy for me. My consistency is shoddy so my conditioning is poor. My form isn't terrible due to 2 years of high school track, but I'm always finding reasons not to do it.

Yet, it's the one exercise I return to because I feel the most productive afterward. My brain benefits enormously from running. My thoughts seem to accelerate and solve puzzles with every step and by the end I'm brimming with ideas. It's probably one of my best tools for writer's block.

I know the research behind why this is true, but it still amazes me when I hit the trails.

I just wish the self-doubt and criticism didn't catch up to me. While my brain does benefit, my self-esteem suffers. "Look how slow you are!" "See how out of breath you are." "No wonder the doctor says your BMI is overweight." Almost all of these comments are aimed at my physical body. There are some aimed at my motivation and mind, but I'm the best at tearing down my physical nature.

It's a sucker punch and a hand-up all at once which makes me conflicted. Do I keep at it or do I devote myself to something else? 

<Brief Intermission while I take a mouse to the woods. Not that you would know that, but it happened.>

I guess I don't really have an answer for myself, but have you ever had something that helped and hurt you? What would you do? I don't really have any answers today - just thoughts and questions.


No comments:

Post a Comment