My Literary Guardian

So this is a bit of old news from December 17th 2019, but it reads well so I've decided to share.

I keep a journal. I don't consistently write in it, but when I feel like it or when I'm bored I'll write something. This particular journal lasted exactly a year. From May of 2019 to May 2020, and boy do things changes in just a short amount of time.

So here is that entry with a few edits:

"Earlier today I felt a surge of anger and hopelessness. I'd just come back from meeting with my advisor about practicum and I felt ill-prepared, unworthy, useless -- take your pick, but I wasn't feeling good and there I was sliding in mud trying to get home.

I had decided to walk to campus and since it had been a wet few days, every trail had a mud pit that could send the unwary into the earth. It's fun at first, but then it's annoying. Your feet go all over. The mud is just waiting to cover you and well, it's just another hassle.

My mood went from a dull evening to a stormy night.

Then I thought of Ruana.

My thoughts had turned to hopelessness so I called on my strong character to save me from myself. Ruana has horrible self-esteem but she does believe that her life is worth something. She would say, "Well, maybe, I didn't make a difference in someone else's life. Maybe, I didn't have some greater purpose. But even if Cossu (the god of the dead) himself came to claim me for the dead. I would not go until I chose to."

Her free will and desire to live is strong. She will not be imposed upon. She will be the guardian of her own fate and those that cross her must beware her wrath. (Very dramatic stuff here).

Ruana doesn't fool herself into thinking she is a kind or even good person. She's hostile and slow to trust, but she is steadfast and unwavering to those she cares about. I think her conviction grounds me. She has little self-pity. The facts of her life stand as they are and she will come out on top.

In a world where everyone is fighting to survive and cruel people seek to conquer, she is forged in shifting sands -- adaptable, relentless and never what she's not.

The desert does not pretend to be a safe place or try to pacify those who enter it. It is a strict force of nature that states, "I am wild abandon. Live or die. I do not care. You are but another speck of dust. I will show you no mercy, no reprieve. I do not regret what I am or wish to change myself. Enter with courage or not at all. Your fate is your own to master."

Which seems eloquent for a geographical biome with varying characteristics across continents. Still it rings true. The desert will suffer no weakling, will spare no one who does not fight to live.

Ruana knows this. She lives by it, and she reminds herself that she is a desert girl and tougher than she looks.

I don't think I could have asked for a better protagonist. She is not perfect, but I don't want her to be. I love her, imperfections and all, she is an inner strength I can rely on.

"One foot in front of the other," she would grumble as I did walking on those slippery trails. "Eventually you'll end up somewhere."

And I did."

Ruana is the MC (main character) from my current work-in-progress. I think I've mentioned her before but just in case you read this and then wonder if you're missing something - you are and I just haven't gotten around to sharing much about it yet. My apologies. If things go as planned, Ruana will make her debut into the world soon.

Something Fun

Life itself has been stressful lately so I thought I would post something fun and something from my past.

All great writers start as children! The things they play with, the stories they make-up are all building blocks for later.

A child's inquisitiveness and imagination is one of the most wonderful things out there. It can save nations.

When I was a child, I loved dogs. I wanted a dog too. Things didn't work out for my household to actually own a dog, but I had plenty of dogs that I adopted for a time. Our next door neighbor had a golden retriever mix and she was ours in a sense. She knew when we got home from school and she would follow us around and listen to us. She also had the softest fur and the wettest kisses. She was perfect.

At home, I had my own collection of stuffed animal dogs, but none were as portable and as beloved as this one.

This is Snuffles also known as Charles Dickens. Yes, he had a secret identity. He was a daring detective with the perfect nose to sniff out crime and solve cases. Note the hat which represents him adopting his detective persona. The detective persona was Charles Dickens, obviously. A name like Dickens combined with Charles...it practically screams stakeouts and revealing critical information in a timely manner. Snuffles could easily fit in my hand and so he was perfect for going places. He fit inside purses, found that cup holders made great seats and was just a lovable companion.

This dog went on many missions before he retired and he is still as soft as ever. What kind of toys did you play with as a child? Were any of them part of a larger story?