Tough Love Email

The text below is all an email I sent back in 2019 to a friend who felt hopelessness and who I admired greatly. I hoped this would spur them to do more. (Names have been changed).

Hmm. What to say. I read your chapter, not just skimmed, actually read it and I loved it.

I don't say this lightly. I really did enjoy it. You included the elements of the world into the story so effortlessly that it didn't feel forced.

You wrote Henderson just like the jerk he is, but subtle so that it was a conclusion that a reader could grasp on her own. 

You also made him sympathetic and let me tell you - he was not sympathetic before, but you introduced him so well that even I wanted Fiero to cut him some slack. 

You say that you've lost enthusiasm, well it happens to all of us. It happens to every writer out there.

What would you like me to say? I won't say that magically everything will fall into place that you will come over your anxiety and write as if some idea is burning inside you. I won't say that you should go off on another project and just write what is inspiring you in the moment.

Geez. If we all wrote when we felt productive, there would be no finished books in the world. 

I could see how excited you were when you talked about it, but that doesn't mean that you can't have days where the work feels dull. Days when you just have no interest in what you've written and it all feels pointless. You have to remember that you had those days of lovely inspiration and write anyway. You are a writer, Conn, and perhaps you need that as your mantra. Chant it in your sleep if you have to. But, never forget it.

You think you lost interest because when you write it doesn't feel right. Perhaps it just shows that you have grown in a way and what you wrote before doesn't feel the same because you have matured. Island Whispers felt that way for me. We look back on ourselves and see the parts that weren't strong. So make a choice. 

You say that you're worried that this will become a pattern that you will lose interest in all of your projects before you finish them.

Then commit to this. Show yourself that you can finish something. It's not going to happen overnight and certainly it is not going to appear out of thin air. So even when it feels wrong and when it feels like a struggle, commit yourself to one thing. Write this story.

Stop thinking about what your story could be or all the ways that you could do this or that. Just stop. 

It's not easy to let go of those thoughts, but you need to push past those worries.

Stop setting expectations because you are your own worst critic and you will tear yourself down before you begin.

Set goals. Set milestones. Believe in yourself and know that even if you can't do that, there are others that believe in you.

I'm definitely one of them. If you want to take anything from this semi-rant response email to yours, then know that I do not choose my friends lightly. I do not share my work with just anyone and I do not just give my time for everyone to use. It might seem strange considering I'm an RA, but I am talking about my time not on the job. 

So get a hold of yourself, Waterson. If you wait until the stars align, you'll be staring at the sky forever.